Dream

As I sit and listen to this song I wonder, when did I stop dreaming?  As a little girl I had such amazing hopes and dreams.  The smallest of details would be thought of.  I could daydream for hours about what I wanted my life to be like and look like.  Everything around me was beautiful, at least thats how I perceived it.  I kind of thought of myself like Peter Pan, and I would never grow up, always have the lovely, sweet thoughts.    But I did grow up and somewhere between some unexected deaths, some dissapointments and too much responsibility, I stopped dreaming.  I don't remember where or when it happened , but it did happen.   So as I listen, I have an ache to recapture my dreams. The things and thoughts that make me smile inside, I want to think of these things.  I want to see the beauty in things around me through the eyes of the little girl I once was, who trusted God so easily.  

We are expected to grow up, but I am not convinced that letting those beautiful dreams and desires that God created with in me I was young, are way of growing up, that is a way to loose yourself.  Thats what I feel, like I have lost myself.   I grew up like the world told me to, I don't like it, I am returning to dreaming little girl and I will teach my three little girls to hold on to the lovely thoughts, make them a secret garden in their hearts, and don't stop dreaming.

I have struggled during the last three months to find my voice on this blog.  I have so much to say and write, but creating the voice that sets the tone for the blog, well, has been a journey.  Dream, by Pricilla Ahn, inspired and sparked and has really helped me to see where this voice needs to be going. Where I want it to be going.   I would love to attend the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina.  The conference encourages and teaches woman who want to speak/teach and write to serve HIM.  A Holy Experience(http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/03/how-christians-create-art-she-speaks-scholarship/), the original blog I started following years ago, that inspired my own daily walk, is giving away a scholorship,  If I could have encouragment and the abundant knowledge of this group of writers to guide me, I feel that I could not only find my voice, but my voice could help someone else grow deeper or even begin on their daily walk with Him.