As I sit and listen to this song I wonder, when did I stop dreaming? As a little girl I had such amazing hopes and dreams. The smallest of details would be thought of. I could daydream for hours about what I wanted my life to be like and look like. Everything around me was beautiful, at least thats how I perceived it. I kind of thought of myself like Peter Pan, and I would never grow up, always have the lovely, sweet thoughts. But I did grow up and somewhere between some unexected deaths, some dissapointments and too much responsibility, I stopped dreaming. I don't remember where or when it happened , but it did happen. So as I listen, I have an ache to recapture my dreams. The things and thoughts that make me smile inside, I want to think of these things. I want to see the beauty in things around me through the eyes of the little girl I once was, who trusted God so easily.
We are expected to grow up, but I am not convinced that letting those beautiful dreams and desires that God created with in me I was young, are way of growing up, that is a way to loose yourself. Thats what I feel, like I have lost myself. I grew up like the world told me to, I don't like it, I am returning to dreaming little girl and I will teach my three little girls to hold on to the lovely thoughts, make them a secret garden in their hearts, and don't stop dreaming.
I have struggled during the last three months to find my voice on this blog. I have so much to say and write, but creating the voice that sets the tone for the blog, well, has been a journey. Dream, by Pricilla Ahn, inspired and sparked and has really helped me to see where this voice needs to be going. Where I want it to be going. I would love to attend the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina. The conference encourages and teaches woman who want to speak/teach and write to serve HIM. A Holy Experience(http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/03/how-christians-create-art-she-speaks-scholarship/), the original blog I started following years ago, that inspired my own daily walk, is giving away a scholorship, If I could have encouragment and the abundant knowledge of this group of writers to guide me, I feel that I could not only find my voice, but my voice could help someone else grow deeper or even begin on their daily walk with Him.