HE speaks, she speaks

As HE speaks to me and I write, the SHE SPEAKS Conference is coming up July 22-24! This conference helps women who want to speak and write and lead for HIM, learn the tools of the trade. I heard about this conferecne a year ago and thought what an ideal, to be encouraged by others pursuing the same goal of speaking and writing about The One Who Created Us All. I truly just chalked it up to a dream and kept the desire in the back of my heart. But the dream is now within reach! Proverbs 31 Ministry has a contest and the winner recieves a scholarship to the She Speaks Conference. The scholarship is possible because of Cecil Murphy. I am participating in the contest and praying that this is part of Gods plan for me and my writing!

I shared in a previous post my desire to write deep within me when I was young and finally pursuing it the past few years. I feel pulled to write about what I am passionate about and that is living a joyful life! For me, my joy comes from my hope in the Lord and sharing a bit of the joy I see in the world. I believe I should reflect God's goodness and grace and contagious joy! I want The Inspired Page to be a little bit of sunshine in this often dark world!

What do you desire?

Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambiton when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far to easily pleased. -C.S. Lewis

I remember being about 8 or 9 years old and my aunt, a teacher, would come and visit and bring with her the most amazing gifts. Not dolls and silly toys but paper. Yes I said paper. Before every home had a printer and reams of paper at their fingertips, my aunt would come through the door with an abundance of paper from her school. I remember the joy that I felt as she lay all the papers infront of me on the table. I couldn't wait to get my hands on it and see what I could create. I didn't know what would become on those blank pages, but the idea that my creations and ideas would become real on those pages before me overwhelmed me. The opportunities in a blank piece of paper excited me.

I knew early on that God had planted a desire for words and paper and writing in my soul. I could see that not every girl my age was so passionate about such things, infact I didn't have any friends who shared that passion. So as I grew, I swept the passion for writing under the rug and only brought it back out when no one was around. Adults would ask what I wanted to do when I grew up and for a long time I told them it was to be an author and write, but overtime I discovered that many people had the same dream and began to think my passion was just a silly dream.

I began to "reshape" my desire to write and create on paper into a more responsible career choice, teaching. I loved kids, I was able to still be around paper and creativity and it seemed a more acceptable answer to those around me when they asked what I wanted to do when I grew up. I didn't understand at the time that I was begining to create my story here on this earth by finding acceptance of my desires from others. That is how we loose our joy. Thankfully, God would help me see this mistake and help me follow the desires he placed within me.

26 years later, that 8 year old girl who got excited about paper and the blank page before her is still there and she wants to come out and play. God placed a desire in my heart and I tried to squish it and make it more acceptable and useful to this world. As I grow to know God more, he makes this desire stronger and reminds me that this desire is one of the things that makes me uniquely me. I am blessed to now not care if anyone finds my passion for writing silly or without practical purpose. The joy I have recieved from personal journaling alone has made this desire worth its weight in gold. God wants us to have follow our desires, he does not wish for us to be passionless and uncreative. Our God is creative and passionful and he placed those same things in us to explore.

the blank page before me

The blank page before me is one of the most exciting journey's that I take each day. The honesty of the words I will write in the space before me gives me an anticipation that I can't explain. It is here I will write my prayers for myself and children and husband, it is here I will write the ugliness that I have felt in my heart that I repent of , it is here that God will whisper to me and create feelings of joy that I can't explain. It is here I will leave notes on my journey with God and know someday my three giggly blessings will read these very real , daily , living journals and see how God lead me through this life and why mommy was always smiling! Yes, the most exciting part of my day is the blank page before me and the worship that I find with my pen against the paper! My soul finding rest in God within those written pages each morning.

Do you soul journal?

How does God call you?

I often wonder how God talks to other people? For a long time I didn't understand how He talked to me. Actually, God had to slow me down and stop me for me to hear Him. My life was to busy, my thoughts to concerned with my own plan. My thoughts are naturally unfocused, unorganized and messy. There are times when I begin to pray but can't because I can't focus on God with all the mess in my head, in my heart. But a few years ago, the mess turned into anxiety and physical symptoms like panic attacks and heart papatations and depression began to plague me. But my amazing God had a plan for this along. Using this problem to draw me towards him with all my heart-he was calling me!

Part of the process to heal me was to just focus on God and trust that He was strong enough to take all of my worry. I HAD to give God the messes in my head that I was trying to control. This mess was worry and control and I was worshiping it. One of the many ways I learned to truly give it to God, was to journal. I have always been a writer and journaled, but I began to write in a way that I never had before. The blank pages before me were hopeful and inspiring. It was on the inspired page where I would talk to God and he would talk to me.

I began to anticipate my time with God and sometimes I was awed at what I would write. I was awed at the honesty of what I would write The joy of being honest with my fears, my desires on paper perpetuated my growth and controlled my anxiety. My prayer was on paper and the journal was one of the ways I worshiped Him. Through journaling I found peace and trust and a real relationship with my maker. Through journaling I found JOY and understand how God calls me.

How does God call you?